Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Tales of time

Hi again!  I know, i've been slacking. Time is just flying by. I cannot tell you how excited I am that there are only 5 2/5 weeks of school remaining this year (but who's counting).  I am in desperate need of the pool.   So, guess what?  Are you sitting down?  My husband was home ALL LAST WEEK!!  I know, crazy right? That is why I haven't written.  Until today, when he left again, things were awesome.  I have to say, there is a direct correlation to a decrease in my stress level and overall happiness and my husband being home.  i told him that other day and its bittersweet.  I know its not easy for him to leave us week after week either, but it seriously sucks being the one left behind week after week.  Last week was amazing!  I felt energized and able to breathe a little bit.  I actually had him run our AM carpool on my days for the first time this year!!  Of course it was a bit stressful for him as he had to come home and report to me who waved at him thinking it was me in the van.  We had family dinners and a very low key week. I mean, he still had to work and all, but just knowing he is around is such a comfort to me. I could have used that today.  Some days are just blah.  Today was a blah day.  I was busy at both schools and just feeling a bit stressed all around.  When my babies got home from school I actually asked for extra big hugs because mommy needed them.  And tonight, when i tucked my girls in,  I asked my oldest to snuggle with me since daddy was away and i had a crummy day.  It is amazing to me that in one second he is my little boy and then another he is a 9 yr old consoling his mama.  So sweet.  I just love him to pieces. He knows that he is my rock and the "man of the house" when daddy is away, but I am actually starting to notice that he is really beginning to grow into that role.   Early this week he decided (SUCH A SAD CONVERSATION TO ME) that he no longer needed his "ellie" and "teddy" any more to fall asleep.  He didn't want to get rid of them, but he doesn't "use" them anymore.  Um, way to break your mamas heart there little dude.  I had to look away for a moment.  My husband took him to his room for bed that night and reported back to me that he had hugged them both very tightly before placing them on a bookshelf in his room.  No word about it since.  I didn't know I had given him permission to make those life decisions for himself, but apparently i am learning that as time goes on, I will have less and less decision making power for these type of things.  And today, I am okay with it.  Because time keeps marching on so I better hang on tight before it passes me completely by.

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