Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Tales of a day

The day started out with middle and me sitting at the computer together listening to Taylor Swift "Fairytale".  I heard it on the radio the other day and thought she would like it (of course what was I thinking- she already knew half the words- at all of 5 yrs old).  Today was our anniversary. And, he was actually in town to share it with, although he had to squeeze me into his busy phone call schedule.  But we had a super fun AM together.  Had sitter for baby, hit starbucks, did some holiday shopping, had my fav nordy lunch. all was great.

3pm- big kids home.

Me:  "how was your day?"
Son: "really bad"
Me: "what happened"

Because of his privacy I will not share all the deets with you.  But because I am me and need to vent I will share bits and pieces.   Turns out he didn't do so well on a math something or other. Problem #1.  Then they had a sub bus driver who was mean and nasty and yelled the whole ride home. Problem #2. Then, we couldn't figure out how to do his math homework.  Problem #3. Yes, I said "we" because I do not freaking understand how they are teaching math to kids these days.  It is really annoying. He was getting confused and not making sense and I had no earthly idea what to tell him. Problem #4. Spent the next 30 mintues back at his school with his teacher showing him (me) how to do it- with baby girl in tow. Thank goodness contestant #2 had a playdate.  While I get it now, I do not get the significance of it, nor why they decided to teach it this way instead of the way all of us parents were taught.  Heaven forbid it should be easy to help your child with his homework.  I just feel badly that my son is learning at such a young age that I am not perfect. I thought my mom knew everything and was perfect until very recently (sheltered, perhaps, but I enjoyed it that way).

Speaking of, my awesome mom brought us in sushi for dinner for our anniversry since my son had his first bball practice tonight. I was glad he got to run around and have a good time this evening! He deserved it today.

Girls showered themselves and played cutely together before bed.  I am overjoyed that miss cry myself to sleep was feeling back to herself tonight.  I would have been so upset to miss the nightly routine for multiple nights in a row.  If I remember correctly, the repitore tonight was her yelling at me to get my jammies on (yep, I was still in my day clothes at 7 PM tonight- late for me you know), and then the roll call of who was going to close their eyes and go nite nite too.  The boys being gone at practice threw her off a bit.  Definitely a creature of habit that one. -and unfortunately not all good ones.

So, today was, just a day. Not great, not awful.  Just a day. Glad I have my hubby home tonight.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Tales of Telemarketing

STOP CALLING ME!  Stop calling me during dinner.  Stop calling me during bedtime.  Stop calling me on Sat AM.  STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!  WTF happened to the damn do not call registry????  Sheesh.  It is enough.  So freakin annoying.  I've actually started having my kids anwser the phone when they call- sure works to make them hang up faster.   I don't have enough time in my 24 hour day to talk on the phone to my own flippin friends, let alone some random stranger trying to sell me crap at the worst time possible. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I feel better now.  Moving on.

1.  No crying at bedtime. Why you ask?  That brings me to....
2.  Baby spiked 101.8 fever tonight... I'm blaming it on the "germiest" place on earth.
3.  Kind of missed my nighttime entertainment. (Perhaps because its sad that she doesn't feel well).
4.  Anniversary is tomorrow. Yay us.  80 years and still going strong.. lol. 8... but feels like 80. 
5.  Love you hubby boy.

Tales of craziness

Anyone else scared of their December calendar??  I am just wondering how much we can all cram into one little month.  1/12 of the year. 31 days. really?  Gonna be busy, better start increasing my caffeine intake now.  I sense a lot of nights up past 8:30.

Last night when tucking the angel baby in bed, she screamed, only for a few minutes "Daddy, I need to tell you something", so of course I made him go in and she said, "I tired Daddy, I going nite nite too".  Love the commentary sweetie, but if you could just shut up and go right to sleep we'd all be much happier.

Of course this AM the jerk of a kitty cat that my children absolutely adore and missed horribly while we were away, stood at her door at 4:50 and meowed until she woke up. I swear they both hate me.

A great person told me about a documentary that just came out about how we (crazy parents) are pushing our children too hard in school, in activities, in life... to be the best, to do the most, to be the brightest.. blah blah blah.. pretty much what I mentioned that I despised (yet get caught up in) in a previous post.  Anyhow, I gathered a group of other crazy gals (just kidding) and we are going to view this movie on Thursday night.  I am super excited and think it is going to be a very eye opening experience.  From watching the trailer, it has given me high hopes of changing society and the way we treat and push and compare our kids.  But sadly, I know, it is a fierce cycle that one documentary will never undo.  A girl can dream though, can't she??

In case you are interested, it is offering screenings across the country!  For free!!  Yay free,, gotta love me some free stuff!  Especially this time of year. Whoa, those presents sure do add up don't they?

Here is the link:  Let me know whatcha think.


P.S.  My entire downstairs smells like pine.......... LOVE IT. As crazy as it may be, this really is the most wonderful time of the year.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Tales of Disney World!!

Did you guess it??  We were in Disney for Thanksgiving. We had a fabulous time, however it is super exhausting!!!  I am a huge people watcher, so it was a blast for me to sit down while baby was napping in the stroller and just watch the crowd.  Like I mentioned yesterday, Disney is the "Happiest Place on Earth" which I get because it is truly amazing for all ages, however, it is quite ironic that everyone is frantic running from ride to ride to beat the lines, kids crying, parents arguing, etc.. just made me laugh really.  The happiest place is also a loony bin.   My all time favorite people watching moment was when an adult woman with her children in tow walked by in a shirt that said "I heart my boyfriend" on it- in different colors- all around the entire shirt.  Just had to laugh at that. 

Kids had a blast!  Baby girl (who is right now watching Mickey Mouseclub house, while holding, mickey, minnie, daisy and donald minis in her hand) was in pure heaven. She was in a little bit of shock the first day or so screaming "Dat (that) Mickey right there" but she was an absolute tropper running around everywhere and loving every minute.  I think we might have created more of a Mickey monster in her.. if that is even possible.

Our oldest still is my Disney boy. Doubt he will ever outgrow it. He loved every single minute.  He could have just ridden the Disney bus and the monorail for 4 days and been just as happy. However, he likes to think new things are not going to be fun before we try them and then has a blast.  Have I mentioned that annoys the crap out of me?   I hate having arguments before we get somewhere unfamiliar to him about him not wanting to go, and then him loving it.  I had always heard the Hoop Dee Doo Review was amazing and wanted to try it, so we were on the ferry to get to the campground and he complains that it is going to be boring. I started getting that warm feeling creeping up again that wanted to scream at him, but I held it together, mainly because we were on a very crowded boat and I didn't want to be one of the parents at the happiest place on earth yelling at their child. (Well, at least not in front of anyone) Needless to say he was cracking up the entire time, loved the food and said it was one of his most favorite parts of the whole trip!  I highly reccomend it.   But, why must they assume and complain about every little single thing before trying it????  It really is a drain of time and energy.

Dear Mom,

If I complained about new fun things before trying them and then actually had the very best time and loved it, I apologize.  How annoying I must have been, I mean, if I ever did that.  IF.



My middle princess (who claims to not like the princesses anymore) was super excited to see them and hug them.  She is so fun to watch.  Her face just lights up and it is precious. I have to say, I feel she is at an age where MGM, or whatever they call it now, didn't have to much for her to enjoy.  She hung in and had fun though.. with a little gift shopping help from Super Nanny.   It was priceless to watch all the kids (especially the big two) laughing and playing and spending time together having fun.   What a great break from every day life.

Thanksgiving we had lunch with the princesses in Norway (sounds funny) and then dinner at Chef Mickey.  What a fun and busy day.  I have to say however, I actually missed being home a bit and cooking the turkey and watching the Macy's day parade.  I know, it was me who wanted a break from the traditional T-Day, but I honestly missed it, a lot.  I guess that is was traditions are all about.  I love spending the day with the fam, watching TV (even football) in the warm, yummy smelling house. Cooking with my mom, relaxing, kids playing with visiting family. It used to bother me that it took 5 + hours to prepare a meal that is gobbled down in 10 minutes, but not anymore.   Not planning on missing that one again for a while.  Plus, I missed black friday with my favorite shopping partner. Never again.

Car rides weren't too tortureous. I know you all love my spelling. Kids were great most of the ride, but got a little rowdy after about 5 hours.  Me too.  It's so hard to sit for that long.  Have you ever seen a movie where the family is road tripping together and the baby is being loud (either crying or singing) and the bigger kids in the back seat are laughing and playing loudly, very loudly?  Well, that was us!  We were the Griswalds.   Sure beats spending thousands of $$ on plane rides. Especially now that they practically rape you at the gate.

Enough for now. Must switch loads. 2 down, one to go.

Hope you had a great holiday weekend too!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

tales of a road trip

Yep..we went away for Thanksgiving...my hubby requested I not write that while we were gone...so here I am sitting in the car for another 7 hour car ride home. It's a good thing I have plenty of time to organize my thoughts for you to  read. I will leave you with a taste of what's to come. Can you guess where we were?

1. Parents arguing... Everywhere
2. Kids crying
3. Siblings fighting
4. Crowds
5. Long lines
6. Amazing family time
7. Much fun
8. Great memories
9. 500 Pics

I'll post tonight or tomorrow during my 5 loads of laundry. I missed you. Hope you missed me too!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Tales of Eating

Ever had one of those days where all you do is eat?  Please say yes, please say yes. I do not want to be alone in this one. Anyway, today is that day for me.  Maybe I am storing up for the winter, or trying to stretch my belly for the holiday meals ahead, I do not know what it is,  but I just can't stop.  Good n Plenty, crackers, carrots, lollipops, caramel popcorn, cheese, to just name a few.  I am literally standing either in front of the fridge or in front of the pantry- staring in to carefully choose my next edible victim.   Sheesh, I need my kids to come home from school and save me from the kitchen!!!!  HELP!!!!!

On a more serious note, one of my best friends moms had a heart attack last night. 

1.  Please keep her and her family in your prayers
2.  Please keep in mind how delicate and precious life is
3.  Please be thankful every moment for the good things in your life and try not to dwell on the bad (much   easier said than done, but so very important).

So obviously, without needing to be said, today I am thankful for the health of my family and friends.  I am also thankful for the doctors and nurses taking care of my friends mom.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Tales of a 2 year old dictator

The little control freak has turned into a dictator.  Once again, I just tucked her in and the night time entertainment has begun.

"Mommy go put your jammies on".  "Mommy you go put your jammies on now!"  (about 20 times). Seriously, who does she think she is telling me when to get my jammies on. Truth is, I typically have my jammies on already when I do tuck her in, so I guess she called me out on it, but it still cracks me up.

Now she has moved on to saying:

"Mommy you going potty?  No?  Me either, I going back to sleep".
"Daddy you going potty?  No?  Me either, I going back to sleep".
"Kitty cat....etc..."

Wow, silence already.. impressive little darling.

My thanks for today:

1.  my big kids not caring about #3 being a dictator
2.  another beautiful day with my fam
3.  great chinese food
4.  my middle looking so damn cute in her first pair of jeans ever!!

Tales of an apology

Dear Baby girl,

I just realized that I haven't brushed your teeth in a while. Since you are the 3rd (and your siblings do this themselves), I tend to overlook these tasks at times.  I am aware that this means you will likely have poor dental hygiene and high dental bills in your lifetime. I am apologizing in advance.  I would like to tell you that I will do a better job at it, but I don't want to lie. 



Saturday, November 20, 2010

Tales of more Thanks

Just remembered before I doze off (it is 8:59, gonna turn into a pumpkin soon) that I hadn't written my thanks for today.

1.  I am thankful everyday for the health of my family.
2.  another amazing carolina blue day
3.  thankful for the mall. i know it seems trivial, but just walking around, not even buying much, just relaxes me (i know who you are, laughing at me for admitting this in public).
4. thankful for the movie we watched tonight with friends that made us all laugh our asses off. "She's out of my league".  I love laugh out loud movies.
5. thankful that my mom babysat- nice to get a break from the nighttime crying ritual.

shoot, it's 9:03.. missing precious sleep time. gotta run.

Tales of a Loser

STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP IT. Pah-leaze!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  4:57 on at Saturday AM is just not ok.  I am about to lose my effing mind over this now.  Yes, it is fun to write about, and I am sure fun for you all to read, but it is not fun for me to be the only one up on the entire east coast every single day. Exaggreation?  perhaps? but that is how I feel every morning.  Especially because for some damn reason my hubby can easily fall back to sleep and I CAN NOT.  I am doing all I can right now to make him suffer as much as I am.  Her screaming (5:32), the glow of my laptop lighting the room, the click click of my typing, kitten is running circles around the room, and yet he is still asleep.

Well, was. Just caved.  Sent him in.  Control freak said as he opened her door "I'm calling mommy".  I really could not make this stuff up if I tried.  She is really something. The other day she was singing loudly in the car to her doll and I asked her to stop and she said, "I not talking you, mommy. I talking to dhis (this)". -as she holds up tinkerbell. Really? Where does she come up with this?  I mean, clearly she does not get it from hearing the way I talk to her siblings?  No, no way.  I am much nicer to them than that. I think. Aren't I?  Hmmmm. She must just be advanced.  Not only because of that.  Because she has managed to need her diaper changed already three times in the past.. um.... 46 minutes she has been up. One wet. Two poop.  Talk about control.

So, are you still wondering where the title of this blog is leading me?  It is leading you to me. The loser.  At least that is how I feel.  Or as one friend so delicately put it this week (love her anyway) "the grandma".  Being that I am up at the butt crack of dawn daily.  OMG.. tangent.  I was checking my FB page the other day because my hubby posted our fam pics on there and I scrolled down for a min to check and see what is going on with my peeps.  And I almost peed in my pants.  A friend from high school had an unfortunate experience with her plumber, perhaps a "viewing" if you will. and she called it his "coinslot". I laughed so hard I almost cried.  I have never heard someone use that term and I love it!

Ok, so back to being the only one up at the butt crack of dawn.  I am seriously physcially and emotionally drained by 5 PM every day. That is after being up for 12 hours.  I push on through the bedtime rituals, would never trust hubby to do it all by his self when he is home. Noo.. I need to do it. The children might combust if they go to bed 3  & 1/2 minutes late. Enter control freak.

There are so many things I want to do in the evening hours.  Go to target, run out for coffee, walk the mall, go see a movie.  I have these grandoise ideas at about 3 PM (ironically right around the time my babies get off the bus). Ha, dreaming of leaving the house.. such a surprise.  But, by the time I have done the aforementioned 3-7:30 time period of the day, I am spent.  There is just nothing left.  My legs are achy and I just want to crawl into bed and chill. So pathetic, right?  So sad.  You can feel bad for me now.  I do.  I also feel bad for my friends who invite me week after week out for a drink.  Out for coffee. Out to a movie.  My answer is always the same.  "I'm too tired".  Don't get me wrong, I always do it for a special occasion (have to drink caffeine at 4pm to muster up the energy), or if I feel that I've had a few good nights sleep in a row and can therefore can afford to lose a few hours. But on the whole, I am a loser.  I say no.  I think in my head, if  I go out tonight, I will not get home until at least 10.  Then my body will be too awake for me to fall asleep.  So I really won't go to sleep til almost midnight. Therefore losing at least 3 hours of REM activity. I need my precious sleep.  Mainly so I am not a roaring bitch at my kids the next day.  And because of this.  I know (strongly hope) these days of 5 AM wake ups will come to an end.  Some day.  Some month. Some year... I do not know when, but I know it will.  And when it does, I am free to move about the cabin. No, seriously, I can resume my night life.  LMAO. Like I have a nighlife??  That even made me laugh.  

So, I'll settle for being a loser for now.  Not forever. For now. I just hope my friends are still going to invite me out when the time for me to have a social life rolls around again.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Tales of Nada

I got nuttin. It's Friday. Long week. Not much to say. Same old same old.  I did however remember to think about what I am thankful for today.

1.  Kids night out at big kids school. (they are there 6-9pm tonight.. dinner, dj, games and fun).  Very thankful for that. Baby didn't pass as an elementary school student, stinks.  2 out of 3 not bad i suppose.

2. Thankful for the great weather today.

3. Thankful that hubby is giving baby girl a shower.

4. TGIF!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Tales of Thanks and Fun

Dear older generation of readers (aka. my family members)

Sorry you do not like the cursing.  I will try to keep it to a minimum... but cannot promise anything.



p.s.  you can always stop reading

And moving on.

Why do we only take note of what we are thankful for around Thanksgiving time?  Aren't we always thankful?  Today I was very thankful for my amazing momma.  I had plans (yep, actually had a whole 4 hour time period blocked off today to spend with one of my favorite friends) and my babysitter called at 7:30 AM to cancel on me. Of course, right?  I hardly ever have "plans", especially not during the daytime hours. Usually I spend my babysitting time volunteering at school, exercising (rare), or running errands.. yes, squeezing in an occasional lunch with friends.  So, again, the odds were against me that the one day I had real plans, as in a paid ticket for an event and a great friend who took the day off of work to spend with me, my sitter cancels. Crap.

I started to get that warm feeling creeping up inside of me.  Cancelling was not an option. I would not allow it. I immediately hung up and called my momma. I knew that if she didn't have any big plans herself she would jump in and spend the AM with my sweet lovey girl. Yes, there are times when she can't and yes I HATE those times, but not today!  Hip Hip Horray. An hour and a half later (after her 14 step get ready morning routine) she was over.   We can call it "helping me out", but I know deep down inside she loves spending time with my little yum yum.  I am always thankful for the awesome, loving and supportive mom I have, but wanted to give her a shout out for today!  You rock.  And, I love you. A lot.

1.  All kids in bed.
2.  Called friend to see if she wanted to hear the night time entertainment again. 
3.  Baby only cried 15 min tonight. Lame. (LOL)

Obviously, as I just mentioned I am thankful for my mom. My hubby and my HEALTHY and happy little gems.  I am also thankful for good friends, which I have learned (am still in the process of learning) are very hard to come by. . Besides that, nothing else matters. Having a awesome family and fab friends are all a girl can ask for in life. Everything else is just surplus.

I am going to try to think of something I am thankful for everyday from now until Thanksgiving and jot it down on here.  Note: I may/probably will forget one day.. or two... but am going to try.

A brief snipit of my day because it is 7:55 and I am exhausted.  This is hour 15 of the day for me to be awake.

I had a great day!  Boy, was I due for it.  I must admit, not having a lot of free time really makes me enjoy when I do have it.  I almost felt spoiled taking that long just for me (minus a few phone calls and texts from hubby).  I spent the day at a Christmas Show.  My 2nd year going and it was 4 hours of shopping and laughing and eating and making memories.  I just love the holiday time. I always have.  Don't you? No matter what faith you believe in, it is pure bliss. The crowds, the energy, the sights and smells, the sounds of people having good fun. 

Tired. Rambling, Mediocre post. Must sleep.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Tales of Nonsense

It is a damn good thing you can not hear things through the computer.  Trust me, it is sparing you.. although, it is quite entertaining and sad at the same time.  Mean, maybe?  But I've got to look at the bright side of this whole sleeping shitty-ness.

My angel girl is seriously screaming at the top of her lungs (while laying down- I can see on the video monitor). First she was taking roll call... mommy close her eyes and go nite nite, daddy close his eyes and go nite nite, brother close his eyes and go nite nite.. you get the point.  Then she moved on to screaming, I'M TIRED MOMMY. I'm tired.  I go close my eyes and go nite nite too, no crying.  Um, excuse me dear little one, how can you say no crying when you are SCREAMING at the top of your freakin tiny little lungs.  And then, for her final performance of the evening. My personal fav, let's call it the encore if you will.  She sang every single song I sing to her before bed, every single word, all at the top of her lungs, while crying. Twinkle, ABCD, Bah-Bah black sheep and you are my sunshine.  Bravo little one.  I am standing in applause.  What an excellent show you put on. You not only made mommy laugh til she cried (and actually the friend mommy was on the phone with too), you finally made yourself pass out.  27 minutes after I left the room.   Mazel Tov.

Did I tell you that my husband travels?  Well, he does.  However, this week he is home.  Unexpectedly, but home. I am squealing with delight for having the extra set of hands around.  Enter sarcasm. Oh, so speaking of.  Yesterday was a crazy day with the drs appt and skate night and rushing and schleping and annoying check out people and rain.  Did I mention it rained yesterday? So, I somehow happened to forget to fold the load of laundry in the dryer.  I just cannnot imagine how on earth I would forget such a fun and energy inspiring task. But, I did.

Well, this AM after I got 4 people dressed (myself included), dished out vitamins, starting inquiring about breakfast (s), made lunches, packed backpacks and knocked back my cup of coffee, I remembered the wrinkled mess that was waiting for me in the dryer.  I asked my dear loving hubby (since he is actually here) to be useful for a few minutes. All I said was, "Can you get them breakfast while I run upstairs to fold the laundry".   I grab the phone (because god forbid I am not connected to someone at the time of doing such a mundane household chore).  Head upstairs, dail phone, open dryer, fold sons brown sweatpants, reach into dryer to collect another article of fresh laundry, and then I hear "Can you come downstairs?  I need your help.  I just sliced my finger open tyring to cut a bagel". WTF??  Really?  Really?  It's not like I was out getting a massage, I was trying to fold a fucking load of laundry, but nooooooooooo.  I was needed. What else is new.
So, of course I hang up and run downstairs.

Problem #1.  I do not like to be interrupted on the phone. ever.
Problem #2.  I do not like being held up on crappy household chores when I finally decide (aka remember to do them).
Problem #3.  It seems as if that even when hubby is home, I still end up doing the morning routine myself- probably because I do it better and faster anyway.

K, I am not lying, but I went downstairs and found my hubby curled up on the couch like he just got his period. It's gushing and throbbing he says.  Do we have band aids?   Love him, love him to death (mostly for still loving me through this whole blogging catharsis situation I am going through).  On the plus side- all this nonsense makes me laugh. Otherwise I think I'd cry.

The Outcome of Tales of Picture Perfect

Tales of Control.. or lack there of

Not even sure how I slept at all last night.  Nope, not because of annoying bad sleeper child.  I was so distraught yesterday (wow, isn't it great that I admitted twice in the past week that I had a sucky day).. see people, it is easy to actually admit to yourself and to others how you are really feeling some days.  Try it. sometime. Then report back to me.

I notice that I start writing and then I go off on these random tangents. I think that is how I talk to friends too.  Jumping from topic to topic. I would apologize for confusing you, but I am not going to.  You'll just have to keep up.

Ok, so back to me not being sure how I even slept at all last night.  I was drowning my day in blondie brownies that a friend had made for me, and chocolate chip cookies from another friend (and you call yourselves friends???) and so I actually think that my chocolate consumption ended up higher than my regular food consumption for the day.   Those who know me know I am not a chocoholic.  I rarely eat a candy bar.  Would rather eat twizzlers, swedish fish, tootsie rolls, blah blah blah.  So, with all that chocolate laced caffeine in my bloodstream, I am surprised I survived the night at all.  I did stay up til 10PM in which I am typically already in my 3rd REM state.  Yes, I am a loser.  I go to sleep at 8 or 9, but remember I have to be up at 5 (at the latest) every damn day.

And just to ease your mind, I am watching Martian Mickey as I type. Well, I'm not.. but you get the idea.  Shit, I just realized that baby is holding the kitten. Whoops. Not up for mom of the year, huh?  And no, still haven't made a decision.

Going back to the genetics conversation from the other day. Recall, all my days run together so I don't remember exactly which day I talked aobut it and therefore cannot direct you back to it. 

I am a control freak. It is genetic. I am learning that my tot is a control freak.  It is genetic. I am quite concerned that it is rearing it's ugly head at the ripe old age of 2. I am quite convinced that her teenage years are not going to be pretty. 

Below I will list some recent examples of her control freakishness (yes, I take great pride in making up my own words).

1.  screaming from her crib this AM after I went in and told her to shut up (ish). "I do not want to go back to sleep" and then again, louder, "I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEP MOMMY". (repeat 50 X)

2. While getting dressed yesterday, "I just weared this one.  I just weared this clothes mommy. No wear this today".

3. No do my hair. No eat that. No get in car. No like this show. NO, NO, NO. Don't want to, Don't want to, DON'T WANT TO.

Guess I should be thankful that I do not have to worry about anyone pushing her around in her life.  Although, I'd like to, at least a little bit.  Why, because I am a control freak.

And in reference to why she wins- isn't there some saying that the loudest one wins?  Or is it is last one standing? whichever.. clearly in my life it is her. And not me.

Dear Hubby,

You may want to get an apartment for our boy and you when our girls are the ages 11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18.

Will miss you,

love me.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Tales of the Unexpected Part 2

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!  yep. that is how much of my day went.  In case you didn't hear me through your computer... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! 

1.  It was raining and blech out
2. The check out people in certain of my favorite retails establishments happen to annoy the crap out of me. 
    What part of if they stop talking to me so much and atcually do their job, they will check me out faster and therefore I will not have that warm feeling creeping up inside of me that makes me want to spit fire out of my mouth at them.
3. It was raining.  People drive like complete shit in the rain.  Phew, I feel so much better.  Finally got my first curse out on here.  Ah, plenty more to come.
4.  Ok, here comes the highlight people.  Sidenote: If you didn't read yesterdays blog, STOP RIGHT HERE.  Stop and scroll down to yesterday and then come back.  I'll give you a minute.. wait, no I won't.. you should have read yesterdays, YESTERDAY.

Took oldest cutie boy to the ENT/allergist today to follow up on some unexpected issues that arose with him last week (Friday.. my sucky day). Well, guess what folks.  Yep, you guessed it.  Contestant #1 is also.. drum roll please... allergic to cats.  What are the freakin odds of that????????????  Seriously, seriously.  I just do not get it.  All I was TRYING to do was be a good mommy by getting the little people in my life a pet.  Shit, how did this all turn around and make me feel like the bad and guilty one.  What do I do???????  I know my brain (and my ENT) told me we need to give him away, but my heart cannot face that.  My heart cannot tell my middle this.  My heart will be lonely all the days and nights and weeks and months and years ahead that I spend at night alone when hubby is MIA.

Both their allergies to cats are mild, and more evident in the drippy-ness of the baby, but I am so tempted to keep him.  Make them suffer though????  Is that wrong?  I know they want him and love him, but I don't want them to feel sick all the time. Ug, such a predicament. I mean, what a flipping bummer. Still not sure what to do- looking into options.  Would LOVE some suggestions. Anyone deal with this scenario before?  HELP!!!!

HUGE and very IMPORTANT SIDENOTE:  Please learn from my mistakes.  If you take away nothing else from my ramblings every day please remember this. If you happen to feel the burning desire to bring a cuddly, loveable and fun pet into your family life.. please please please have your children allergy tested first.  Hindsight is a bitch and I know there was no predicting this mess, but it is a sucky one to be in and I'd hate for you to be in it one day as well.

5.  It is still fucking raining. And now thundering too.

Sidenote #2- sorry I have such a potty mouth tonight.. its been a rough day.

Tales of the Unexpected

OMG!!!  I just got a strange phone call.  Almost so strange that I thought there was an imposter on the other end of the line.  Could it really be my hubby?  Was it true?  Yes, yes, it was!  He was calling to inform me of good (rare) news. He business trip this week was cancelled.  No dear friends, you did not read this wrong.  I said cancelled.  A whole week of him here.  Yahoo!!!!!!!  I am still in disbelief.  Something else may come up between now and then but I wanted to share my tale of fortune with you. 

To those of you who are jealous, sorry.  I would be too.

Tales of constant caving in

Seriously, it's enough.  I just don't get what she doesn't understand?  Why does she not like to sleep? And she is starting new bad habits. The crying for 45 min in her crib at night before she falls asleep is almost like nails on a chalkboard to me.

Yep, it's 5:37 AM, and here I am, writing to all of you. I suppose you can all thank her, because I doubt I would have the time in my day to do this if she weren't such a crappy sleeper. But, she started in at 5:10. Went in, checked her.  Decided to let her cry. But at 5:25 my hubby reminded me that our middle was out late last night at GirlScouts and they have Skate Night tonight for a school fundraiser, so it probably not best to have her scream today and wake the entire family.  AKA: Cave in.

And it is ok-ish to cave in when I have his help.  But on the days he is away.  I just cannot do it.  First of all, once our kitten hears her crying, he is up for the day!  Maybe they are in cahoots with one another. And I know I totally mispelled that because I have absolutely no earthly idea how to spell it and the thought of you "editor friends of mine" reading this and cringing is making me smile.

So, when I am here alone in the deep dark morning time, I cannot bring baby doll into our bed because I have an I've been cooped up and quiet for 10 hours 14 week old kitten running around my room at 100 mph. I mean, I can bring her in here.. but any hope of her laying in my bed and going back to sleep is not an option.  Yes you wonder, why don't I kick the cat out of the room?  Well. I'll tell you.. he is an unusual little dude. Whereas most cats, including the one we parented (lol.. can you call it that) prior to having kids didn't really hang around us that much. But this one, is like white on rice with us.  He loves to be held and loves to be near the action.  Which is GREAT for the kids, because they love him around. However, when I've tried to lock him out of our room to get her back to sleep, he just cries at the door... again, another issue with the other two trying to sleep.  And its not his fault.. she is the one who gets him all hyped up into thinking its time to be awake!  And so, I cannot do it when he is away.  I am constantly caving in, which is why I know in my heart that this sleeping situation, or lack of, is not going to end until she is 18.    Hope she gets a crappy sleeper college roomie, otherwise they will not get along very well.

Caving topic #2. 

My son has always wanted a cat. Do not ask me where he decided that from because I have no clue. My friends with cats always told me upon picking him up from playdates that he played with/pet the cat half of his time in their home.   However, we had a cat, pumpkin, for a few years before we had kids. He was an orange tabby cat and we loved him.  But, when our oldest came along, he wasn't too thrilled.  And it scared the crap out of me. Pumpkin was a biter, (our fault? bad cat parenting?) and every time he heard the baby cry would jump into the pack-n-play and I couldn't handle it.  It stressed me to know end. 

1.  Baby cried incessantly for 12 weeks until Zantac.
2.  Couldn't leave baby and cat in same room to go pee.
3. Adjusting to being a new mom was hard enough with a baby who cried ALL THE TIME....

therefore, we had to find a new home for pumpkin. Sigh.

Fast forward to present day.  Decided that it would be good for the kids if we got a kitten.  They asked daily, as I am sure you other non-pet owning parents kids do.  I am going to admit here that hubby was strongly against it.  But, oldest was having some issues adjusting to school this year and I wanted something to take his mind off of that when he was at home (other than the 15+ hours a week we are home doing homework).  I've heard of pet therapy, and I thought it would be good for him.  Hubby is mildly allergic to cats, so wasn't to keen on the whole idea, but mommy reminded him that he is never in town anyway and mommy always wins so enter kitten.  (This is 2nd kitten because first one was long haired and did bother hubby).  We had first kitten for all of 12 hours and middle child almost vomitted from crying so hard when we told her she had to go b/c of daddy's allergies.  Yes, trying to get to the point.

Last week we found out baby girl is allergic too.  And it is obvious that hers is a more severe allergy because she has had a drippy nose for 8 weeks (got him ironically 8 weeks ago) and red, itchy eyes. Getting oldest tested today because of some issues he had last week, and will therefore most likely result in parting ways again, with another cat.  Anyone want a cute, great to be around kitten??

So, once again, my caving in and getting the kids a kitten against strong resistance from dear hubby, has gotten me into trouble.  They all love him, especially the girls, and it is not going to be a pretty parting. If middle child had an issue after our having one for 12 hours, I can just imagine what 8 weeks is going to do to her. I've already mentioned that we may have to get rid of him due to her sisters allergies the look I got was one of, why can't we keep cat and get rid of sister.  I am sure that will not be the last time she will be choosing to get rid of sister.

One of the first things my son said when we surprised them with the 2nd kitten was "I am so excited that I can check off, yes, I have a pet" next year when I fill out school questionnaires. Umm, yeah, that's not looking likely honey.  Ever. In your future. In our house.  Being that baby is allergic to cats and dogs, and looking at our track record with bringing home and giving away cats (we will be 3 for 3 soon), I think our pet owning family days are coming to an end.

Unless I cave again.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Tales of Fear

And other week has begun!  Once again I am sitting here at 5:30 AM next to my sweet girl.. who actually didn't cry last night until now... well, except for the 45 min rant at bedtime including her unique ability to squeeze out enough of a poop for me to have to change her... procrastination starts at such a young age. Oh, and yes, we are watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

Just checked my email and received my usual Monday AM email from my hubby that is titled "Flight info this week".  Not so bad this week, I suppose things are calming down for the Holidays that are seriously right around the corner.  Is Thanksgiving really next Thursday?  How bizarre?

So, I was reading another blog, and felt like I had written parts of it myself, which of course then compelled me to do just that.   Those of me who know and love me dearly know that I am a bit of a control freak.  I'm gonna blame it on genetics, but won't go any further than that in case certain family members decide to read this.  Don't need to get written out of any wills over a little blog.  Yes, I complain about my days revolving around my kiddos and their schedules, but the truth is, I wouldn't have it any other way.  I want to be the first person they see after school.  I want to hear the juicy deets of the 8 hours they spent without me. I want to make sure their homework is done properly, etc... after all, it is my job, so to speak.

But it is more than that, I think it is a lack of trust.  I don't think I trust anyone enough to do it "like I would".  What am I scared of? I am not sure.  Hubby always tells me to get a sitter sometimes after school to help me out, or at night during the week so I can get out alittle.  My response is always the same.  I can't. I need to be there.  It's not like they are in preschool anymore.  I need to make sure my 2nd graders homework is done, and right.  I need to make sure the oldest two read 20 min each night.  It's not just "babysitting".  There are things to be done. And apparently, I do not think that anyone else in the universe but me is capable of handling it.  No, that is too harsh, I think it's that I just don't think anyone can do it like I do.  Well, so what?  What am I afraid of?  One night it won't be "perfect"?  Ugg, that puts a lot of pressure on me ya know.  Pressure I put on myself.  But who wants to do MY kids homework with them.  I don't even WANT to do it, I HAVE to do it. But that is a fear of mine.  Fear of the unknown. Fear of, what's gonna happen if....... 

Speaking of what's going to happen if.... I feel as if I used make choices in my life based on fear of what other people would think of me.  Fearing rejection?  Fearing being talked about?  Fearing being not liked?  I would do things for and with my children that other people did just because I figured I should because everyone else was. I persued relationships with toxic people because I was afraid people would talk negatively about me if I didn't. I kept my mouth closed about my kids "friends" being obnoxious, destructive and mean to my own children because I was scared to speak up their mommies (many of whom were my friends).  Trying to keep "peace" between myself and others at the expense of my own happiness.  NOT GOOD.  NOT HEALTHY. And I have learned over many many conversations with friends, that I am not alone.  Some call it "wanting to be accepted", but I call if fear of rejection.  And I lived a lot of my life like this. 

Fortunately, well, it was unfortunate at the time, but looking back, fortunately I experienced a life changing event about a year and a half ago that changed my perception of my fears.  From someone who was an outgoing and pretty open person to most anyone, I became more private and protective of myself and my inner thoughts and feelings.  I decided, I am not scared.  I decided to do things that I wanted to do. I decided that I didn't trust people until they proved worthy of it, not vice versa.  I broke away from a lot of people and "found myself".  I decided to sign my children up for camps, and extra curricular activities because they wanted to, not because thats what other kids were doing.   I decided to stop running the rat race.  I decided to stop wondering if people thought I was a bad mom because I didn't do XYZ with/for my kids. I actually had one mom tell me, "you should sign your son up for ____because it would be good for him".  WTF?  Where do people get off telling me what they think is good for MY child, MY family?  I just don't get it.  And it bothered the crap out of me.  But, and it took A LOT of soul searching, I decided to let it all go.  I am me, and my family and TRUE friends love what I have to offer.  I no longer fear not fitting the mold that we all try to cram ourselves into. There is no need for it.  Period.

To be honest, the main fear I live with now, is the fear of something terrible happening to someone I love.  It is paralyzing at times to fear such things, but I do.  And that fear leaves no room for others. 

What fears do you have?  Are they about you, or about how others view you?  Do you have any fears that you can let go of?

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Tales of Monotony

No, this is not about the show "Sister Wives", my life is definitely not that exciting. I too sometimes get confused between the words
monotony and mongnanomy. Just want to make sure you are all will me from the start.

As I walked out of the room of the 3rd child I read to, sang to and tucked in, I said to myself, another day, done. And then I thought, hmmmmm.. I feel this way every night.  And during the day, I feel myself looking at the clock and noting how much longer til bedtime. How much longer do I have to be "ON" for my kids no matter what is going on with me, or in my life.  And that's another hmmmmm.. my life, do I have a life?  Am I allowed to have a life outside of doing and being for my precious miracles?  Yes, of course I am, but why do I feel guilty about wanting to have "a life", as minimal as it happens to be.   And why I do feel guilty about how much pleasure the bedtime hours make me?  I love my kids, as we all do, so why can I not wait for them to go to bed?  Am I that bad of a mom?  Wait, nevermind.. Don't answer that.

My hubby and I were driving in the car last week and the conversation of my days "running into each other" came up. And he said, so do something about it.  Change, I don't want you to be bored. I thought for a second, that is a great thought.  But for me, right now, in the present time of raising our family, it is just that, a great thought. There is nothing else for me to do right now.  My days are entirely filled up to the rim, it just so happens that the contents remain the same.

Here is a glimpse into my day (s):
Sidenote #1- Minimal changes occur, like playgroup instead of My Gym, or helping out in mid child class instead of #1.
Sidenote #2- Don't read this if you think you already know what I do everyday, or if you don't really care.

3 AM- baby girl cries, go into her room and tell her to shut up (in a nicer-ish way)
3:02- close my door and place pillow over my head as to not hear her screaming for me in an attempt to fall back asleep
5:00- usually up for the day by either same child or kitten (who might receive the death penalty soon for waking me up)
6:00-7:00- watch Mickey Mouseclub house on repeat in bed while waiting for others to arise
7:00-8:00- put out vitamins, water, breakfast for kids. make lunches, get myself ready, shove a Luna bar down my throat and drive carpool
8:00-10- most days I am either back home with baby, running errands with baby, or at school helping in kids classrooms because due to the
budget cuts our teachers have no assistants and 20+ kids in their classes to deal with. alone.
10-12:00- twice a week I get to play tennis for an hour!!! other days I am with my fun little one. It is so different spending time with
 her at this age then with the olders.  Maybe because I have her "alone" but I am enjoying this age much more this go around.
12:00-12:30- watch another amazing episode of Mickey Mouseclub house
12:30- lay in my bed with her until she falls asleep, most days this is only 5 minutes or so.
1:00-3:00- freedom!!!!!!!! gotta love naptime.  Usually, I either, try to fall asleep on the couch because I have been up for almost 10
hours already, start getting dinner preparations done, or actually try to have an uninterrupted phone conversation.
3:00-bedtime- I am lumping this all into one group because this is just the highlight of my days. Note:  At this point I have typically been up for 12 hours already.  Get backpacks thrown at me from big kids at bus. Remind them to wash hands and go potty (at least 3x) upon walking in door.  Sort backpacks, read any school correspondence, figure out who has what homework to do, empty lunch remains and start
packing non-perishables for tomorrows lunches.  Some days my kids run over to friends houses immediately from the bus for an hour or so, which is fine, except that #3 then wants to play with me, again, instead of having them entertain her.   Fight with children about homework, especially 2nd grade math homework that I already do not like. What the hell is a rhombus?  Listen to baby saying, Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy a zillion times until I finally realize she is talking to me and answer her. Make dinner, serve dinner (always a joy as my previous post displayed), clean up from dinner. Kids either play for a bit, or watch a show. Shower kids, read to kids, brush and potty kids (all while repeating at least 100 times.. "remember there are 3 of you and only ONE of me"), and finally... wait for it............................ BED!  Silence. Quiet... well, not really until my baby stops crying from her room "mommy close her eyes and
go nite-nite too???" 
7:30- not too long after because I usually fall asleep.. I lay in bed, usually do not turn the TV on because I have no functioning brain cells remaining to try to follow along any show.  Check my email, answer the phone if I hear it ringing because I have my ringer off upstairs heaven forbid it should wake up someone, mainly me when I am finally asleep. But that is it.  Usually hubby is away, so it's just me here.  I have gotten somewhat used to being alone night after night, and its ok.  I do have to say, the one nice thing about getting out
krtten (no I is NOT his wanting to play with me at 5 AM), is that he keeps me company at night.  Just having another sole breathing next to me (especially one that doesn't talk back) is comforting.  

1.  please do not feel badly for me... it looks MUCH worse than it really when written out.
2.  If your days are not like this at all, please do not tell me.
3.  If you can relate.. remember that misery loves company!!

So, back to the conversation with my hubby about doing something else??  Not exactly sure where something else on a regular basis would fit in.  And do I want it to?  As much as I complain, because that is what my DNA tells me to do, would I like having to squeeze something else in?  Something else to think about?  Something else to occupy time and brain space?  Something else to dress for?  I honestly don't think I could. And so, I will settle for the monontous routine right now.  At least I know what to expect from my days and for a control freak, that is good.  Speaking of monotous, I have to run.. gotta fold my 10th load of laundry this week and then off to Target and Trader Joes for the zillionth time...

By request... Tales of Superwoman #2

Wanted to share some insight I received from a friend of mine. It is always good to hear someone elses perspective and I happen to think this one is right on!.....

This is an email I received after posting my Superwoman blog  (minus some personal info I removed):

"I enjoyed the superwoman blog:).  You're right all around.  But, it's all how you perceive who superwoman is and what perfect is.  Perhaps you really are superwoman... maybe not by your own definition, but maybe by someone else's.... all you do for your kids, how you manage your household, and how you keep yourself altogether even though you may have issues- as we all do- but, you're able to project a strong woman because you are.  You may not feel strong all of the time, but even at your weakest moments, you get through them and come out stronger anyhow.  So just for fun, superwoman, give yourself a pat on the back for all that you've done for your family.  You're the glue..... and your hubby knows this.  Maybe superwoman doesn't sit well, who likes titles anyway unless you're employed and it gives you promotional bonus money, or the means to interview for a better opportunity somewhere else where you can say your title is such and such... ha!  

Hmmmm... maybe a superwoman part 2 is in the future... the positive side of it.  I think all mommies are superwomen if you think about it... humans aren't capable of mastering the perfection of things, but if perfection is irrelevant, and you focus more on what all is involved in being a mommy, then in our own ways maybe we actually can be that from time to time.  To me, when my son surprises me with something new he can do or say, and that overwhelming feeling of pride kicks in... he makes me feel like superwoman I think.  And if you break it down a little further, even superwoman returns to her mortal self most of the time anyway- ha!  Maybe it's the coach/teacher in me that's always trying to find the positives of things, how to shed light on certain perceptions to expose that maybe there's some good to them.  Perfectionism.... what a pisser that can be, but it actually has a tid bit of good in the sense that it helps motivate someone to attain a goal.... take it a bit tooooooo literal and it gets you in trouble, and that's how it gets a bad rap.  Little did I know that I was a perfectionist until golf came around.  Man did it expose me in the worst way.... BUT, once I discovered how unrealistic I was being with myself, I was able to discover better boundaries to all of my practicing.  And so, I'm more aware of how I am in life.... yep, perfectionist me has to rein in those expectations in every day life... hence, mommy hood and friends and relationships... all that shittake!  

Anyhoooooooooooooooos.... I guess my point is you're so right about all of it, but at the same time, there could be a side that's cast in the shadows and maybe isn't all deserving of it:).  Perfectionism in our society will always be, along with all the other nasty qualities humans like to possess unwillingly.... some willingly.  All I know is that the more moms that just try to be good to their children, good to their husbands (should they deserve it- ha!), and good to people, then that's what it's about.  And if that makes a person superwoman, then so be it:).
Good stuff, right??  You know who you are, thanks for the positive side of it!
I myself was slack about writing over the weekend, I have an idea cirulating around in my head, just waiting for the right time to spit it out into text.  It's coming....

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Tales of Dinnertime fun

Ever have one of those days?  Well, yesterday was mine.  I will spare you all the deets, but it was all around sucky.  When playgroup with your 3rd child is the highlight of your day (sorry girls, you know I love you all), it is pretty sad. Changing subjects-

So, every Tuesday for more than the past year, my kids and I eat dinner at McAllisters because it is kids-eat-free night. All I have to do is buy myself a bowl of soup (which I love because I am a self-proclaimed soup-aholic) and my kids eat FREE.  It costs me exactly $5.41 to feed the four of us dinner on Tuesdays (of course hubby is MIA). It really makes no sense for me to actually shop for, cook for and clean up dinner for that.  Are you with me?  So, on the other days of the week, I do try, I think I should put that in quotes, "try" to cook for us.  Us meaning, the kids.  I think the only thing I enjoy about hubby travelling is that I can eat cereal for dinner, on a pretty regular basis.  I always "lie" to my kids.... white lies don't really hurt, when they ask me why I am not eating dinner with them.  Either I ate while I was cooking it, or I will eat when they go to bed... but clearly I would never admit to them that I am going to have a mixture of honey nut cheerios and THEIR halloween candy for dinner. Um, NO.

I also say "try" to cook... because my kids aren't super easy to prepare dinner for. They definitely aren't the worst, but they are medicore, at best. And it is simply because all they like to eat is crap.  Chicken nuggets, cheese burgers, quesidillas, mac and cheese, pizza etc... I know these are some of your staples too... and it's ok sometimes, but I like to "try" to throw in healthy-ish meals from time to time too.  Of course, these nights are met with strong resistance.  "I don't like THIS chicken"- before she even tastes it, is one example. Gagging on ONE STEM OF BROCCOLI is another.. I mean really?  Just swallow it and take some water.  Sheesh, does every single solitary meal have to be a giant dramatic presentation??

Therefore, I am always tempted to try a week of no cooking (for them).  None, zip, zero.  Why you ask? Because of the afore mentioned situations AND because of this...The very sad state of our country's economy is practically forcing an insane amount of restaurants (who are trying desperately to stay a float) to offer kids-eat-free nights.  Please don't think poorly of me. I am just as disheartened about our society at the moment as you are (that is the first and last time I will pseudo mention politics here), BUT, I might as well take some advantage of it and simplify dinnertime, right?  

There are many websites (at least where we live) that exist only to inform us lazy mommies which restaurants offer these special nights each week.  OMG! I had an AHA moment... again.. twice this week (which you would know if you've read the previous entries) I just got all excited!!  Now I have something to look forward to the next time my hubby tells me he will be travelling for an entire week.. which of course I forsee happening in the not to distant future. A week of no cooking and no cleaning up.  Unfortunately that comes with a week of inhaling my food as fast as I possibly can in an effort to get in and out of the restaurant since I will be with 3 children sans extra set of hands, but I think I am up for the challenge.  I wonder if my dishwasher will miss me?  Anyhow, I can't wait til this adventure.  Anyone want to join me? Stay tuned, I will be sure to write about it. 

Was this blog boring?  Sorry, I needed to keep it light and fun.. yesterday, not so light and fun. Needed a break from deep thoughts.   But, just to keep my complaining consistent.  The wee won woke up at 3:51. As usual, not sure why, but that was just way to early to cave in. So, I let her cry. Not sure how long she did, as I stuck a pillow over my head and went back to sleep, but it is now 5:37 AM and the only reason I am up is because my damn kitten wants to play with me. Ugg.. if it's not one thing it's another, right?

Friday, November 12, 2010

Tales of Picture Perfect

Yesterday was our annual family portrait session day.  I like to torture my oldest once a year by making him change his clothes in the middle of the day (which he HATES to do) into something clean, not even "fancy" just fresh.  Anyway, as some of my friends can attest to, I searched low and high for weeks and weeks to find the "perfect" outfits for the kids.  I love doing the photos outdoors in the fall when theleaves have changed colors and the sky is Carolina blue.  In the past, I have walked in the GAP, found the outfits in about 5 min flat and walked out.  This year, not so much.  Weeks and weeks I spent pouring over clothing racks of black and gray.  Seriously?  I am not a fashionista, but I have heard the "gray" is in this year, which is lovely, because I do like to wear grays and blacks with my jeans... BUT, and again, this is a BIG BUT... for my 5 and 2 year old daughters... negative.  Now I am aware that in their teenage years they may venture into some darker clothing, and I will cross that bridge when we get there, however, not now, and definitely not for family photos. This was really a problem for me, but i am letting it go now. I could go on, but I wil save you.

Moving forward to yesterday. I told my dear hubby what I wanted us to wear in the pics.  Oopps, failed to mention that last year we ended up with family pics of just the kiddos because I was on my death bed with some strain of the flu or something that week.   Ok, so I thought since we missed them last year, we should jump in a few this year, just to be able to remember how we looked in the midst of our wild adventure of raising children.  So, yesterday AM was pretty hectic due to the holiday/day off of school. We did take our tot to the ENT, to which I learned she has a lot of mucus in her nose and therefore has more allergies then the mere food allergies we already know about.  Come to find, she is allergic to elm trees, dust and dust mites (sure, I'll vacuum the house every day... wink wink), dogs and CATS.  umm.. we just got a kitten 6 weeks ago. hmmmm. Third ones a charm - no allergies for the big two.  Speaking of the big two, they were shuffled around between playdates yesterday, due to the fabulous day off of school in the middle of the week.   I promise, I am getting around the the point of this blog.

12:30, I put my baby girl down for her nap.  I scheduled the pics for 3PM, so hopefully she would be well rested and pleasant for the afternoon.  Nowadays she will only nap in "mommys bed", which is actually fine, because she sleeps for a few hours so I typically do not mind.  However, yesterday, I had to move my clothing change, my flat iron and my makeup downstairs so I could get ready while she naps.   Ok, no prob. So, as I am flat ironing my hair (my son next to me complaining he needs more legos because he refuses to take apart anything he makes with them because they are all "special") I am realizing that my gray hairs are much more noticeable when my hair is straight.  And so began the plucking.  Sadly, I may have to start dying it because I think I almost plucked out my entire mid section. I finished flat ironing and was brushing my hair and accidentally clipped my ear.  Yep, my diamond stud popped out and practically jumped down the drain in 2 seconds flat.  Did we decide I can curse on here? Well, I couldn't then either because of my son sitting in the room not too far away.  So I asked him (ok, maybe not), I told him in a loud quick voice to "Go get Daddy". 

One of the best moments of my life was giving birth to that boy. My first born.  My mom had given me her engagement ring diamond and my hubby got a jeweler to get one to match it and put them into studs for me. What a great push present.  However, at this moment, half of that present was down the drain, literally.  Thank goodness my hubby is handy, because he went under the sink, took off the pipe thing (I not so handy) and out came the earring... along with a whole lot of water.. but at least I got it back.  And fairly quickly.

Sidenote #1- Hubby can become a plumber if ever need be.
Sidenote #2-Sorry mom, I didn't tell you this yesterday.

So, it is now 2 PM, countdown to pics.  Get oldest changed (he actually didn't whine too much) and daughter just got home from a playdate.  Good thing that you can't smell people in their pictures, because she was RIPE from running around the park for a few hours. So, got them both ready.  Asked hubby where his cream shirt was. He said, "I do not have a cream shirt".  Can I curse, a teensy bit?  We had less than an hour til picture time and now he tells me he doesn't have the right clothes.  So at 2:20 I hopped in to the car and drove to Wal-Mart. Yep, I did.  This was an emergency ya know. Of course they did not have cream anything, so I got him a long sleeve white shirt and that was that.

By the time I was home at 2:40, little miss was up and dressed too and we were in gear to go.  However, hubby decided he needed to shave. Why, why everything so last minute with these dudes?

2:50, we are all ready.  Miracle!!  Have snacks in hand, hair brush, sippy cup is filled with water and then I noticed my Lincoln Park after dark is half off.  Ugg.. this is why I never get my nails done.  So, I tell my oldest to pick out some candy from the candy bin to take to the pics (bribery is always a plus around here) and I run upstairs to scrub my polish off as quickly as I can.

2:55.  I hear screaming from downstairs.  "Spit it out.  Spit it out now".  I run downstairs and you will never guess what happened.  My special angel middle daughter was blue. Not as is dying, as in decided she wanted a bright blue air head 5 freakin mintues before our family pictures. Her teeth, her lips, her mouth.....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  I definitely should be cursing now, but I didn't then so I won't now.  And, she was hysterical. Of course she was, my sensitivie little girl.  So, not only is she completely blue, her eyes are swollen and red.  Yay picture day!  I told her to run upstairs, wash her face, and brush her teeth.

3:06- we arrive to the park (thank heaven we picked a location in our neighborhood) and spent the next two hours running around, cuddling, laughing and playing together during our photo shoot.  It was 65 degrees out, not a cloud in the sky, my kids had the perfect outfits, the perfect smiles and we had great fun!  In 20 years when I look back at our pics, I wonder if I'll even remember the nonsense that surrounded my day. Nah, I'll just be sad at how much I miss having all this craziness day in and day out.  The only thing I'll remember is how "picture perfect" the day turned out to be.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Tales of a Superwoman

This blog stems from the emails and phone calls I have received in the past few days since I started writing.  All very personal and different, however similar in the sense that they are so thankful to read something "real". One in particular struck a cord with me and thus begins my newest rant....

Quoting from an email I received, " Do you know, I had been wondering about the "real" you the rare times I
ventured on facebook... I would usually see a post from your hubby about where he was going or coming from or had been... very active posting that kind of stuff I think... and so I just started thinking about how often he really would actually be home... and bingo, I had a gut feeling you were the married single mom."

Hmm.. the real me?  As opposed to what?  I tend to think I am a pretty real, tell it like it is person. I do not
sugar coat things, and am the worst at being "fake" to people I do not care for. Trust me, it is not pretty.  In a
phone conversation I had with another mom referring to the blog, she said, you make everything look so easy.. Really? I do??  Again, shocked that I give off this perception of "Superwoman" if you will. I can hear the chuckles through the computer of my few close friends who get to listen to me bitch and complain on a daily basis.

BUT, the point I am trying to make is this.  Why is it so refreshing for others to hear someone admitting to
struggle?  I'll tell you why.  Our society, or our generation is obsessed with being the best.  Having the perfect life.  The smartest kids. The biggest house. The nicest things.  No room for flaws. A perfect, cupcake life where everyone is happy and life is easy and simple. Posting on your FB status that you have the best kids and the best husband and just made home made baby food so as to not poison your baby with the stuff 95% of the rest of us use. 

Yes, that does sound lovely, but that is just not real.  Why is everyone so concerned with other people?  And with what other people think of us? Why can't we all just be happy with our own life and not focus on comparing it to others.  Trust me, I am guilty of this as well, but I just don't understand where it all comes from. None of us are superwoman, but yet everyone feels they have to act as if they are the perfect wife and mother. It is a lot of pressure that we all put on ourselves. The competition is just insane.  And it breeds ugliness in people, especially friends.  I wonder what would happen if we all just kept it real.  Sure, I made banana bread today for my daughter who has begged me for weeks. Does that make me super mom? No!  Should I post it on FB to brag to my mommy friends who have zero interest in baking?  No.  I do things for my family because I want to and they want me to. Period.  Not for a perception it may give off.

I was having a conversation with my husband a few weeks ago about our oldest childs standardized test score results. Yes, he was actually in town when the results came!!  I was super proud of him, of course as any mother would be, but also had some MINOR concerns. I repeat, MINOR CONCERNS.  Of course, the MINOR concerns became GIGANTIC by the end of the phone train I encountered over the next few weeks comparing and contrasting 7 year olds. Yes, I am just a curious as the next mom, but certain things are just not meant to be shared. Close friends, perhaps, but others, not so much. Why purposely have a conversation with a friend when clearly one of you is going to feel badly at the end of it? I just don't get it.  And we ALL fall victim to it.  Through my sobs, my husband finally said, enough.  I do not want to hear about it again. Its ridiculous.  And then I remember why I married him.  He is the Yin to my Yang.  He calms me down when I am upset, especially when I get caught up in the vicious cycle of mommy madness. He tells me that all I should care about is our children being Happy.  And he is so right.  At the end of life, when we look back, do you think we will all be happy??  Happy we ran around for 40 +years trying to make ourselves and our children the cream of the crop??  Happy to have given off the perception of superwoman with super children? 

I am definitely not superwoman... you?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Tales of randomess

So, throughout the day i like to ponder different things in life.  Some pop into my head from out of nowhere and some are based on conversations I have had with others.   Yes, that means if you know me personally, you may be a subject in one of my blogs-I will never admit it if you ask me AND no, you cannot prove it.

Deep Thought #1 of the day- Who the f*!k invented daylight savings?  Cleary that individual has never had children, nor has ever wanted a good night sleep in his own life. (I did say "his" and not "her" simply because no woman in her right mind would have ever thought of such a horrible bi-annual occurance).  I mean seriously, what freakin century are we in people? We are not farmers. I do not care about an extra hour of light or darkness here or there.Do you? I CARE ABOUT SLEEP. Precious sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep, damn it. hmmm.. starting to think I should rename the blog... sleepless in..???  nah.  anyway, I vote for boycotting the whole thing.  Who's with me? 

Deep Thought #2 of the day- While getting dressed and ready for my day, I was deciding what to do with my hair.  It wasn't a really long thought process.  It went something like this. 
Hmmm, What am I doing today?

Helping out in my oldest childs classroom
going to My Gym/lunch/napping with littest tot
getting big two off the bus
sending middle off to cheerleading
taking big kid to playdate
supervising homework
making dinner
giving baths
putting to bed

phew.. that was a whole lot of "ings".  Anyway, on days such as this one (um, which is prety much almost every day) I twist my hair up into a pony tail and that is about it. Do any of these "things" I am doing require much more beauty than that?  Nope, I don't think so. And hopefully neither do those lucky individuals who encounter my unkempt self on a daily basis.

Deep Thought #3- What is the fascination with the pantry?  All 3 of my children are absolutely in love with the yummy goodness that lurkes behind the pantry door.  Especially the baby.  All I hear is "I want a snack from the pantry".  She could be eating something in one hand, and turn to me and say "I want something from the pantry". Really?? You want another snack before you've even finished or sometimes begun the one you JUST asked for. I think I am going to start walking around saying, "I want something from the liquor cabinet".  Wonder how far that will get me?

Deep Thought #4- Since I've never blogged before, I am wondering if there are any unspoken rules to it?  You know I would never want to offend anyone in the blogging atmosphere by committing a blogging "no-no".  But, then I thought, who cares?  This is my blog, my rules.  Therefore, I will not edit or spell check my work.  I will type as it comes to me and post.  Does this bother anyone?  If so, please stop reading.

Tales of Jet lag and a Baby G

Can you curse in a blog? I am so new at this and not sure how "real" I can be.  I suppose it is always safe to be PC, so for now, I will try my best to hold it in.

Side note: Contestant #3 is laying next to me in bed (5:20AM) she won.. my middle was so tired yesterday that I couldn't torture her another day with the endless crying.  Moving on.

My husband is on a red eye as we speak coming home from the other coast. One would think that I would feel a sense of relief that another pair of hands is en route, however, it is merely a false sense of relief.  Why you ask?  Because he is "so tired" from the time change, the fancy business dinners and my personal fav is how hard it is to sleep in a giant king size bed in a 5 star hotel all alone with no kids... gosh, that must be so hard.... I mean, I would just hate it.   Ok, in all honesty, I do know how hard it is to travel.  We are not teenagers anymore and our bodies cannot catch up as fast, BUT, and notice that is a BIG BUT, I just don't seem to care.  When I've been with the kids alone and up a gazillion times a night with little miss sunshine, there is no sympathy left for it. Sorry dude.  Love ya, but drink a red bull and lets move on.

So, once again, little miss cutie pie (it really is so hard to be mad at her when she is that adorable) woke up at 2:03.  Ok, after a few nights, I was starting to wonder why it was the same EXACT time.  Yes, I know she is good at this game, but that was GOOD.  So, while trying- notice the word TRYING to get back to sleep... at 2:15 I remembered something. AHA!  My son got a watch for his birthday from his fav uncle and he occassionally likes to press all the buttons because he is only 7 and doesn't know how to use the damn thing. I also remembered (yes, I know, pretty impressive at 2:15AM to have such a memory recall) that he put it in his new desk in the area right next to the babys room. Hmmmm I thought. How interesting.  So, I dragged my warm body out of bed and walked, ever so carefully as to not make the floor squeak, to the loft area and found the watch. Low and behold, he had set the stupid alarm for 2AM.  Poor baby girl... yes, she is in a sleeping funk.. but that is just no fair.  I quietly walked downstairs (almost tripping over my kitten who was so excited and thought it was morningtime) and put it in the kitchen.. for now.  When daylight comes I am plotting what to do with it.  Perhaps I will dig a hole in the yard and bury it.. like a "time capsule"... get it?!?!?    That's enough for now.  Oh, and thanks Uncle D for the great gift.. love it!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Tales of a 2 year old that doesn’t like to sleep and a mommy that does.

I am still wondering where I went wrong.  What did I do differently with my 3rd then with my first two children?  I guess that could be a topic of another day, but for today, I am so flabbergasted as to why my sweet baby girl is so enamored with me in the wee hours of the night.  I do not feed her, rock her, and am pretty not friendly towards her in the middle of the night, but yet she still loves to call my name at all hours of the night to make sure I am still around.  And, quite frankly, I have had enough.  The big kids are great sleepers.  My oldest only had one time in his infancy where we had to let him “cry it out” and that was it.  My middle one has always been an amazing sleeper.  Since the baby came, she gets up earlier in the morning (probably b/c she hears us) but she plays quietly in her room.   Enter contestant #3. She goes through phases of good/bad sleeping, but right now we are in the midst of a 6 month stretch of not so good.    And 6 months of not great sleeping + a husband who travels and 3 kids to take care of and schlep around by myself =  1 tired and cranky mommy.
I am doing the best I can with balancing letting her cry in the night vs. having her wake up the older two who need their sleep to function at school, but I am losing horribly.  Either my baby ends up in my bed at 5 AM, or my big kids are zombies all day.  I am stuck. Stuck, stuck, stuck and not sure what to do about it. One would think that by the 3rd child I’d be a pro.  Sheesh. I am far from it. So, I have called in the big guns.  The ENT.  I will get to the root of this. I do not have bad sleepers.  I do not have early risers.  I will not allow it. The End.

My Tale

It was freezing out this morning, however, the sun is now shining and it has finally warmed up to above 60.  This means that when my children get off the school bus, they will throw their jackets at me, yet again, and remind me that “it’s not cold outside and they didn’t need a coat today”.  Thus begins my regular afternoon ritual of homework battles, TV havoc and dinner disputes.  Don’t get me wrong, I am super fortunate to be able to stay at home with my 3 amazing children, but, I am just.. what’s the word………..tired.  I am just tired.
Eight years ago I married the man of my dreams.  My best friend who promised to love me, take care of me and spend the rest of his life with me.  However, somewhere between our Hawaiian honeymoon, and pushing out our third child, my husband’s job turned into 75% travel, leaving me to spend my days and nights primarily as a “single mom”. Alone. With 3 kids.
Alone.  Hmm.. yes, I suppose I am technically alone each night feeding, bathing, reading to/with and tucking in my darling angels. However, I am probably not “alone” in the sense that there are zillions of other wonderful mommies doing the exact same thing as me.   And, well, we all know that misery loves company, so here I am, and here you are.  Welcome, I am so glad we are in this together.