Sunday, November 14, 2010

Tales of Monotony

No, this is not about the show "Sister Wives", my life is definitely not that exciting. I too sometimes get confused between the words
monotony and mongnanomy. Just want to make sure you are all will me from the start.

As I walked out of the room of the 3rd child I read to, sang to and tucked in, I said to myself, another day, done. And then I thought, hmmmmm.. I feel this way every night.  And during the day, I feel myself looking at the clock and noting how much longer til bedtime. How much longer do I have to be "ON" for my kids no matter what is going on with me, or in my life.  And that's another hmmmmm.. my life, do I have a life?  Am I allowed to have a life outside of doing and being for my precious miracles?  Yes, of course I am, but why do I feel guilty about wanting to have "a life", as minimal as it happens to be.   And why I do feel guilty about how much pleasure the bedtime hours make me?  I love my kids, as we all do, so why can I not wait for them to go to bed?  Am I that bad of a mom?  Wait, nevermind.. Don't answer that.

My hubby and I were driving in the car last week and the conversation of my days "running into each other" came up. And he said, so do something about it.  Change, I don't want you to be bored. I thought for a second, that is a great thought.  But for me, right now, in the present time of raising our family, it is just that, a great thought. There is nothing else for me to do right now.  My days are entirely filled up to the rim, it just so happens that the contents remain the same.

Here is a glimpse into my day (s):
Sidenote #1- Minimal changes occur, like playgroup instead of My Gym, or helping out in mid child class instead of #1.
Sidenote #2- Don't read this if you think you already know what I do everyday, or if you don't really care.

3 AM- baby girl cries, go into her room and tell her to shut up (in a nicer-ish way)
3:02- close my door and place pillow over my head as to not hear her screaming for me in an attempt to fall back asleep
5:00- usually up for the day by either same child or kitten (who might receive the death penalty soon for waking me up)
6:00-7:00- watch Mickey Mouseclub house on repeat in bed while waiting for others to arise
7:00-8:00- put out vitamins, water, breakfast for kids. make lunches, get myself ready, shove a Luna bar down my throat and drive carpool
8:00-10- most days I am either back home with baby, running errands with baby, or at school helping in kids classrooms because due to the
budget cuts our teachers have no assistants and 20+ kids in their classes to deal with. alone.
10-12:00- twice a week I get to play tennis for an hour!!! other days I am with my fun little one. It is so different spending time with
 her at this age then with the olders.  Maybe because I have her "alone" but I am enjoying this age much more this go around.
12:00-12:30- watch another amazing episode of Mickey Mouseclub house
12:30- lay in my bed with her until she falls asleep, most days this is only 5 minutes or so.
1:00-3:00- freedom!!!!!!!! gotta love naptime.  Usually, I either, try to fall asleep on the couch because I have been up for almost 10
hours already, start getting dinner preparations done, or actually try to have an uninterrupted phone conversation.
3:00-bedtime- I am lumping this all into one group because this is just the highlight of my days. Note:  At this point I have typically been up for 12 hours already.  Get backpacks thrown at me from big kids at bus. Remind them to wash hands and go potty (at least 3x) upon walking in door.  Sort backpacks, read any school correspondence, figure out who has what homework to do, empty lunch remains and start
packing non-perishables for tomorrows lunches.  Some days my kids run over to friends houses immediately from the bus for an hour or so, which is fine, except that #3 then wants to play with me, again, instead of having them entertain her.   Fight with children about homework, especially 2nd grade math homework that I already do not like. What the hell is a rhombus?  Listen to baby saying, Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy a zillion times until I finally realize she is talking to me and answer her. Make dinner, serve dinner (always a joy as my previous post displayed), clean up from dinner. Kids either play for a bit, or watch a show. Shower kids, read to kids, brush and potty kids (all while repeating at least 100 times.. "remember there are 3 of you and only ONE of me"), and finally... wait for it............................ BED!  Silence. Quiet... well, not really until my baby stops crying from her room "mommy close her eyes and
go nite-nite too???" 
7:30- not too long after because I usually fall asleep.. I lay in bed, usually do not turn the TV on because I have no functioning brain cells remaining to try to follow along any show.  Check my email, answer the phone if I hear it ringing because I have my ringer off upstairs heaven forbid it should wake up someone, mainly me when I am finally asleep. But that is it.  Usually hubby is away, so it's just me here.  I have gotten somewhat used to being alone night after night, and its ok.  I do have to say, the one nice thing about getting out
krtten (no I is NOT his wanting to play with me at 5 AM), is that he keeps me company at night.  Just having another sole breathing next to me (especially one that doesn't talk back) is comforting.  

1.  please do not feel badly for me... it looks MUCH worse than it really when written out.
2.  If your days are not like this at all, please do not tell me.
3.  If you can relate.. remember that misery loves company!!

So, back to the conversation with my hubby about doing something else??  Not exactly sure where something else on a regular basis would fit in.  And do I want it to?  As much as I complain, because that is what my DNA tells me to do, would I like having to squeeze something else in?  Something else to think about?  Something else to occupy time and brain space?  Something else to dress for?  I honestly don't think I could. And so, I will settle for the monontous routine right now.  At least I know what to expect from my days and for a control freak, that is good.  Speaking of monotous, I have to run.. gotta fold my 10th load of laundry this week and then off to Target and Trader Joes for the zillionth time...

1 comment:

  1. Hi A
    Had time to only read one, because I don't believe in skimming....yes, I think we have the same day. Only I am not as nice as you and just go up and give H a bottle and close the door and let her work it out. I am to tired. I think I have hit the letting go point a little while glad you found that peace. I have, no lie, at least 10 loads of laundry on my couch, half folded, but the kids know just to go to to their piles and look for their stuff...only bothers me a little, well a lot, but then I am over it. My motto now is don't put urgent in front of the important....along with don't spit into the wind and don't mess with superman...haha.
    see ya